Friday, May 12, 2006
I'm Barely There
From the outside, I've successfully projected that I've moved on...but it is a constant struggle day in and out. There are times I feel pathetic about my life. I am almost giving up because I'm simply broken-hearted. I can't fix it. I can't mend this.
My prayer each night is for God to allow me to wake up one morning with a fresh new heart. I'm barely there...barely.
"We all have a journey and a story that is uniquely ours, but the common thread seems to be that in each of our lives someone loved God enough to take a chance at loving us, and it was through that act that I began to imagine the height and depth and breadth of the love of God. The Jesus who was alive in my friend helped me find the Jesus in me. Can there be a higher call? Tithing? Great. Worship? Fantastic. Service? Important. But to love another person the way God loves me? That's what it means to be the church."
Do you ever get impatient with God? Do you feel like you have been waiting on God to complete something in your life that you have waited patiently for quite some time, something you know in your soul that you are called to do?
I am in a place that I have waited and prepared for several years to do something that I feel completely called to do. It is one of those things that I just know in my soul that is going to happen but the timing is just not quite right. I feel like I am standing on the brink of what God has been preparing me for over the past 20 years.Lately I have started to wonder, "when God, when?"My spiritual director told me last week, "when its time."
Yesterday God opened my eyes to something. Something simple, yet profound.I was walking my dog past a new home construction site. For the past few months each morning I walk by the site only to see concrete and a few beams. I noticed that the builders seemed to be taking their sweet time. But yesterday as I passed the house was nearly complete! The thoughts raced through my head, "Wow, they built that house really fast!"Then it hit me.They spent three months laying the foundation and one week assembling the structure around or on the foundation.The key part is the foundation. Without a proper foundation what the builders intend cannot exist. Attempting to rush the process only potentially hinders the longevity of the structure.
The builders knew to take the appropriate time to lay the proper foundation because they wanted to do it right.I need to trust that I am in God’s grand plan, but God is taking the time to lay the proper foundation in my life so that what God intends to build will endure. Once the foundation is built, it is amazing house fast God can build the structure on or around the foundation.Trust that God is laying the groundwork in your life. Having this realization, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
If you are wondering, "when God, when?"
Trust that God is in the building process, he’s just laying the proper foundation. For all you know, God may intend to build a skyscraper with your life. Do you want to touch the sky?"Delight yourself in God and God will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to him and God will bring it to pass." Psalm 37:4
Monday, January 30, 2006
The 'I couldn't care more' attitude doesn't seem to work wonder today. I am broken-hearted. That's just it. With every pause at work, I would sigh deep sighs. Tears would threaten to fall down although I am determined not to show it to the world. This too will come to pass, I keep on thinking. Whatever the pain I am going through now I would keep it to my solice. It is time to keep things to myself. It is also time to be brave. Things that are far from reality. I hate to admit it but I'm just not fine.
How do I keep the faith? Does God really love me? There is so much pain....
And then I opened PhilStar's Daily Dose. God loves each one of us as if there were but one of us to love. I am praying hard to continue believing....
The only reliable way to know that God loves us is to consider everything He does for us each day. And if there’s still any doubt, think of what He did to save us! The Bible says, "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Yes, He has clothe me, fed me, gave me strength to enjoy snowboarding, provided me with warm shelter, good friends. I am struggling...
Yes, I'm struggling. But at the end of it all, I would still want to believe and keep my faith alive. All things will come to pass but His love will endure, as it always is, through all time.
My only prayer for today is to give me strength to face it. To give me will to move on. To give me enough faith to keep going even though the future seems bleak. To make me smile again.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
GOING HOME
Years ago, I was enthralled as I listened to a pastor who for several years had faithfully served the church. His executive responsibilities had taken him all over this country. As he concluded his message, he told of one of the most frightening yetthought-provoking experiences of his life. He had been on a long flight. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: "Fasten your seat belts."
Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened." As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us." And then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightening lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash. The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying. The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm. And then, I suddenly saw a girl to whom the storm meant nothing. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat and was reading a book. Everythingwithin her small world was calm and orderly. Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear werenot in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm, when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid." The minister could hardly believe his eyes. It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, he lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time. Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid. The sweet child replied, "Sir, my Dad is the pilot, and he is taking me home." Author Unknown Trust the Lord to be the pilot of your life just as the child in this story trusted her father and know that because you have put your faith and confidence in Him, your future is safe, protected and forever secured.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Faith Can Move Mountains
A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox. The boy dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With no little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy and the rock was very huge.) When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, however, he found that he couldn't roll it up and over the little wall. Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox. The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, & shoved; but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of frustration. All this time the boy's father watched from his living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy's father. Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the strength that you had available? Defeated, the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had!" "No, son," said the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you had. You didn't ask me." With that the father reached down, picked up the rock, and removed it from the sandbox. Do you have "rocks" in your life that need to be removed? Are you discovering that you don't have what it takes to lift them? There is One who is always available to us and willing to give us the strength we need. Isn't it funny how we try so hard to do things ourselves. Sadly, many adults who have been Christians for years are trying to do everything themselves and only turning to God as a last resort. God wants to be your first resort. Let Him help you with your trials, tribulations and temperament. He loves you so much . . . all He wants you to do is ask Him to help. When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Glory Of Love
Keep the faith! Keep rockin' Keep rollin'! That's how life should be lived. Laugh a little. Cry a little. Let your heart die a little!
**
The glory of loveYou've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
Sometimes let your poor heart die a little.
That's the story of, and that is the glory of love.
You've got to live a little and cry a little,
Sometimes let your poor heart die a little.
That's the story of, and that is the glory of love.
{Stay there}
You've got to give a little, take a little,
Sometimes let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, and that is the glory of love.
Now as long as there's just the two of us,
Don't need nobody to moan;
As long as there's just two of us
And we're lying right down here on our own.
You've got to laugh a little and cry a little,
Sometimes let your poor heart die a little.
That's the story of, and that is the glory of love.
You've got to live a little and give a little,
Sometimes let yourself live a little.
That's the story of, and that is the glory of love.
Now as long as there's just two of us,We don't need the world and it's charms.
Now as long as there's just two of us
[And we've got] each other's arms.
You've got to laugh a little and cry a little,
Sometimes let your poor heart die a little.
That's the story of, and that is the glory of love.
You've got to give a little and take a little,
Sometimes let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, and that is the real glory of love.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
July 19, 2005
Mysterious Ways
Read:Romans 8:28-39
[God] works all things according to the counsel of His will. —Ephesians 1:11
Bible In One Year: Isaiah 37-39
The twists and turns in the life of Jacob DeShazer sound like the plot of an intriguing war novel. But taken together, they show us the mysterious ways in which God moves.
DeShazer served the US Army Air Corps in World War II as a bombardier in the squadron of General Doolittle. While participating in Doolittle's raid on Japan in 1942, DeShazer and his crew ran out of fuel and bailed out over China. He was taken to a Japanese prison camp where he trusted Jesus as his Savior. After his release, he became a missionary to Japan.
One day DeShazer handed a tract with his story in it to a man named Mitsuo Fuchida. He didn't know that Mitsuo was on his way to a trial for his wartime role as the commander of Japanese forces that attacked Pearl Harbor. Fuchida read the pamphlet and got a Bible. He soon became a Christian and an evangelist to his people. Eventually, DeShazer and Fuchida met again and became friends.
It's amazing how God can take two men who were mortal enemies, bring them together, and lead them to Himself. But it shows us that He is in control. And nothing—not even a world war—can stop God from working "all things according to the counsel of His will" (Ephesians 1:11). —Dave Branon
My times are in my Father's hand;How could I wish or ask for more?For He who has my pathway plannedWill guide me till my journey's o'er. —Fraser
Every child of God fills a special place in His plan.
Mysterious Ways
Read:Romans 8:28-39
[God] works all things according to the counsel of His will. —Ephesians 1:11
Bible In One Year: Isaiah 37-39
The twists and turns in the life of Jacob DeShazer sound like the plot of an intriguing war novel. But taken together, they show us the mysterious ways in which God moves.
DeShazer served the US Army Air Corps in World War II as a bombardier in the squadron of General Doolittle. While participating in Doolittle's raid on Japan in 1942, DeShazer and his crew ran out of fuel and bailed out over China. He was taken to a Japanese prison camp where he trusted Jesus as his Savior. After his release, he became a missionary to Japan.
One day DeShazer handed a tract with his story in it to a man named Mitsuo Fuchida. He didn't know that Mitsuo was on his way to a trial for his wartime role as the commander of Japanese forces that attacked Pearl Harbor. Fuchida read the pamphlet and got a Bible. He soon became a Christian and an evangelist to his people. Eventually, DeShazer and Fuchida met again and became friends.
It's amazing how God can take two men who were mortal enemies, bring them together, and lead them to Himself. But it shows us that He is in control. And nothing—not even a world war—can stop God from working "all things according to the counsel of His will" (Ephesians 1:11). —Dave Branon
My times are in my Father's hand;How could I wish or ask for more?For He who has my pathway plannedWill guide me till my journey's o'er. —Fraser
Every child of God fills a special place in His plan.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Interview with Rick Warren, author of PDL (PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE)
In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that i n spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan -to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
